予心奂然 发表于 2024-8-4 21:23:52

题金华北山冰壶洞（予心奂然）

<!----><style type="text/css">html{font-size:375%}</style><link href="https://pics.app.cnyw.net/static/publish/css/style.css?v=20240712" rel="stylesheet" position="1" data-qf-origin="/static/publish/css/style.css?v=20240712"><!--    付费贴-->    <div class="preview_article ">            <!---->    <p>题金华北山冰壶洞（七律）</p><p class="">※※※※※※</p><p class="">无盖巨壶口向天，</p><p class="">云光草树影其间。</p><p class="">低头脚板生凉气，</p><p class="">昂首山穴落瀑烟。</p><p class="">雪魄三伏嫌夏酷，</p><p class="">冰心四季爱秋甜。</p><p class="">一朝苦暑寻寒处，</p><p class="">洞里分明可作仙。</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pics.app.cnyw.net/forum/20240804212213front2_0_817427_FvV-KzWonF_E1ALCX-rbbq2xsFKE.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="663" height="794" data-qf-origin="forum/20240804212213front2_0_817427_FvV-KzWonF_E1ALCX-rbbq2xsFKE.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p class="empty_paragraph">&nbsp;</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pics.app.cnyw.net/forum/20240804212213front2_0_817427_FmgWTmvrWorns6EK3R306bnQz3c1.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="722" height="633" data-qf-origin="forum/20240804212213front2_0_817427_FmgWTmvrWorns6EK3R306bnQz3c1.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p class="empty_paragraph">&nbsp;</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pics.app.cnyw.net/forum/20240804212213front2_0_817427_FiGv8uraJll-JNU6FIVne80-okT-.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="654" height="674" data-qf-origin="forum/20240804212213front2_0_817427_FiGv8uraJll-JNU6FIVne80-okT-.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p>    <!----></div>            

成老师 发表于 2024-8-5 07:43:02

欣赏龚老师佳作，超赞:victory::victory::victory::victory::victory::victory:

成老师 发表于 2024-8-5 07:43:39

炎炎夏日，龚老师坚持创作，可敬可佩:victory::victory::victory::victory::victory::victory:

成老师 发表于 2024-8-5 07:44:00

https://pics.app.cnyw.net/admin_FsbLrH4XpF1aok8fg1u_Me6G4sVj.png送出团圆月x1

健康快乐生活 发表于 2024-8-5 08:00:42

点赞

文明义鸟 发表于 2024-8-5 09:47:02

欣赏学习老师佳作点赞！

他山之石- 发表于 2024-8-5 19:52:07

欣赏

成老师 发表于 2024-8-6 04:44:51

早上好，新的一天美丽健康快乐！

方言(岩) 发表于 2024-8-6 10:46:53

好诗！

蒙古 发表于 2024-8-16 13:36:27

欣赏佳作，点赞精彩。此次点评旨在抛砖引玉，期望能与作者共同探讨，同时也是为了自我学习。
   这一首七律在韵律上和谐优美，朗朗上口，充分展现出作者出色的格律把控能力。开篇便以生动形象的笔触描绘了冰壶洞的独特形态与周边迷人景象，给人以极为直观且鲜明的印象。“低头脚板生凉气，昂首山穴落瀑烟”这两句，分别从触觉和视觉的不同角度细腻刻画了洞内的显著特点，让读者仿佛置身其中，亲身体验到那种奇妙的感受。“雪魄三伏嫌夏酷，冰心四季爱秋甜”的表达独具匠心、富有巧思，以拟人的手法赋予冰壶洞别样的情感。尾联简洁明快地表达出寻得清凉之所的愉悦感受，紧密贴合诗歌的情境。
    总之，整首诗立意明确清晰，很好地传达了作者对冰壶洞的深刻感受，充分体现出作者深厚的文学素养与深入的思考，实乃佳作。
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