散曲及楼锡乃老师的评论
<!----><style type="text/css">html{font-size:375%}</style><link href="https://pics.app.cnyw.net/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010513" rel="stylesheet" position="1" data-qf-origin="/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010513"><!-- 付费贴--> <div class="preview_article "> <!----> <p>张永锦</p><p>〔小石调·伊州遍〕梅雨西湖</p><p> </p><p>忿怒雨师，南天水潦，倾来漭沧如展幕。涌浪三潭隐，风狂舞柳，湖中叠漾飘揺。望苏堤、含烟流雾，柳浪闻莺，惟余柳叶风里蹈。念雷峰塔上彩光老，寻武庙，自然巍伟凭任他风搅。【幺篇】 断桥阻水，瀛洲迎翠，见千般壮丽迎皓淼。虺蛇发巨水，取祸无情，和尚覆器收妖。怎论道，西湖几个古史英豪同处山峤，洗净尘世沼。忠魂为伍憩湖道，今时幸，小子挽手再忆清操。</p><p> </p><p>〔小石调•伊州遍〕梅雨西湖赏评楼锡乃张永锦老师昨晚发的〔小石调•伊州遍〕梅雨西湖，今早读了三遍。开篇“忿怒雨师，水潦，倾来漭沧如展幕”一下就把读者带入大雨倾盆，无休无止的雨幕之中。揭题方式自然巧妙、引人入胜，有亲临其境之感觉。紧接着梅雨带来了“涌浪三潭隐”、“ 叠漾飘揺”、“ 惟余柳叶风里蹈”、“ 彩光老”等一系列之严重危害，只有武庙“自然巍伟”任凭风吹雨打。幺篇笔锋一转，“断桥阻水”、“ 瀛洲迎翠”、“ 壮丽迎皓淼”，原来是法海收妖了！原来啊，西湖群山之中有众多的英豪守护着，才能有今天苏堤漫步，白堤赏景的“憩湖道”，才有今天情侣携手的“ 忆清操”，如此美好景色，是众人（仙）付出，一下把前面的叙述提高到一个至高的境界。张永锦老师的神曲巧妙地植入白蛇传神话故事，或者说他叙述的本身就是一个美好的神话故事，“雨师”“ 南天”“ 虺蛇”都是典故，试想如果把“雨师”直接写成大雨，“ 南天”写成南方，就显得非常的苍白。张永锦老师这种写法值得本人余生追求。但不一定能追上，因为文字的功底摆在那里，就只能那个样了。另外斗胆向张永锦老师提个小建议，题目“梅雨西湖”与整曲的意境、格调感觉有点距离，是不是也可以神话一下。</p><p> </p><p class="empty_paragraph"> </p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pics.app.cnyw.net/forum/20240628094136front2_0_433661_Fm_U8yXhVotlJ6QVKpBrahUYGeX5.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="658" height="494" data-qf-origin="forum/20240628094136front2_0_433661_Fm_U8yXhVotlJ6QVKpBrahUYGeX5.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p class="empty_paragraph"> </p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pics.app.cnyw.net/forum/20240628094137front2_0_433661_FubUrp8YbAjB4hhvmKeeJjheLfvm.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" alt="" width="750" height="1000" data-qf-origin="forum/20240628094137front2_0_433661_FubUrp8YbAjB4hhvmKeeJjheLfvm.jpg?watermark/1/image/aHR0cDovL3BpY3MuYXBwLmNueXcubmV0L18yMDE5MDQyNTA5MTYwMF81Y2MxMGE1MDc5ZjY2LnBuZw==/dissolve/100/gravity/SouthEast" /></p><p> </p> <!----></div> 高手著，遇见了高手评，点赞 :lol:lol:lol:lol:lol:lol 欣赏学习 https://pics.app.cnyw.net/admin_FsbLrH4XpF1aok8fg1u_Me6G4sVj.png送出团圆月x1 https://pics.app.cnyw.net/admin_FsbLrH4XpF1aok8fg1u_Me6G4sVj.png送出团圆月x1 https://pics.app.cnyw.net/admin_FsbLrH4XpF1aok8fg1u_Me6G4sVj.png送出团圆月x1 应时应景，深有体会！ 梅雨季 欣赏
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